| Sunday, February 18, 2007 |
|
haha. my post this morning was utter rubbish, now i can't even understand what i was trying to blog about. my thoughts were so jumbled out that everything that came out was jibberish. i just needed to blog it away, to release some thoughts so that they wouldn't be stuck there the entire day. crazier, i thought. maybe you're right. my feelings got the better of me, now it's time to let my senses take control. before i fall into a bottomless pit. by that time, i think i can't even save myself from my own stubborness. i'm not sure if i feel that way, but there were times that those feelings were so strong, that it ached. it was painful and heart wrenching. then again, it's probably cos i want something that i've never really gotten before, so much so that i'm deciving myself into really think that i.... it's all an illusion. it's the desire to want it rather than the need to have it. i'm afraid to lose the position that i've taken so much to anchor. i'm just living in self dillusion. i can't believe i'm such a failure, hahaha. making a mockery of myself. somethings are better this way, don't let nature take it's course. stop it at where it should, before i can't turn back. thanks for the advice, i'll bear it in mind. nothing can stop or distract me from getting what i want this year. nothing. |