| Monday, January 22, 2007 |
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at the start of the year. it's already so mentally and physically taxing. everyone i've grumbled to now knows i have 4 trainings in school and maybe 1-2 outside. i'm trying not to complain but what seemed like a passion yesterday has metamorphorsized into a mundane routine. or it least i'm having less fun than ever. that why i always think competitions are screw ups. okay. maybe not if you go there and wipe the grin off everyone's faces but trashing their butts. KEEP THE COURT CLEAN. TRASH YOUR OPPONENTS. is what i saw on a nike shirt that day with kel while hunting for tournament attire. unfortunately, this isn't gonna happen anytime soon. especially with the seniors gone and with my batch, i try to keep the positive level up although it's so every challenging to do so. the original joy of playing is gone. what is left of us is the stress as sec4s to uphold the name of the school is our upcoming SUCK-iest draw we've had in a MIL years. but everyone's facing the same problem, it being the SYF year and all. SO JIAYOU CRAZIER!!!! and for the sports and games, it doesn't really make a difference since year in year out we fight it out in the zonals then nationals. all i can be thankful for is that we get to enter nationals straight. but that also means the competitiveness and intensity level is much higher. then again. what is a competition for without the desire to win? what is left now is an empty tired shell which will be entirely exhausted of by the end of tournament. did anyone see my soul? but we shall jiayous. for we're all stuck in such a helpless predicament where fate manipulates us to his whimps and fancies. all we can do is try to survive this game of his where we're all chess pieces, fighting for the last ounce of strength. when i look at my phone, it never rings. where are you when i need you. it seems that we were never meant to be at all. |
| Monday, January 15, 2007 |
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I never knew that you were that important. i realise that i really regretted what i did yesterday evening. i think i'm an idiot to have hung up. dammit. just to win. that wasn't worth it. way not worth it. sometimes, i hate myself for being so impulsive. you're not only my friend, but probably one of the best i've got. the only one who has a high tolerance level for all my childishness and endless rantings. and all those times. and i almost ended up in a chemical accident which testing for an-ions and cat-ions during chem today cos my mind was totally somewhere else. and i was in a daze for the rest of the day. i hope the phone could just ring now. so freaking tired. |
| Sunday, January 14, 2007 |
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Pixy: Oh thanks! i liked the post too *smiles*i i think it says alot about what we're experiencing, or rather what i am. ha. Eunice:LOL! haha. mine too! OMG. today was SUPER FUN! i still feel bad about laughing so loudly about that aunty and my wuzun mag. but i'm UTTERLY CONVINCED that that guy is gay man. no doubts about it. HA. we better grab the chance to go out before the pia-ing period starts after CNY. or rather, the marathon has already started. *sobs* crazy: ditto. same here, chill kaes. not worth getting mad over such useless people, just adds wrinkles to our pretty faces and white hair to our very brainy heads. i was darned pissed on friday too. but i decided to let things go. no point getting angry over something we can't change. hais. oh. super happy about going out with euu and hh yesterday. we walked till we could hardly stand! and eunice says i eat alot! *SOBS!* i was just rattling on about the food, lol, i couldn't be serious about eathing those. even if my tummy could take it, i don't think my wallet can take on that heavy burden. ha. I BOUGHT A NEW PAIR OF SLIPPERS! yaye! finally! it's like bright pink frm NUM @ heeren. euu and hh claims it so PINKY. like muah. UH. NO. i have to defend myself! i tried the GREEN one! it just looks funny on my foot, so it's the colour pink that likes me and not the other way round! and we had some very yummy, not to mention, spicy beef noodles at taka for dinner. YUM YUM. and i spend $80 yesterday. WHA. *eyes open wide in shock* i seriously didn't know i had the potential for spending so much money in a day. GOSH. shall take euu's advice and MARRY A MONEY TREE. AH AHHAHA. i thought that was really really COLD. brrr. haha. and tunny's sick! so she didn't go out with us. sad! GET WELL SOON TUNNY! and i found something! OHH. i need to talk to GOH WEILING NOW! gosh. why isn't she online?AHHH.i know she'll say i'm such a SMART GIRL for helping her find it. YAYE! ha. we break even cos u helped me for ah boy and now i found something to repay back! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 我搞不清楚自己是什么人，不知道怎么诠释给你们知道，你们看不出来我是真么样子，你们不认识我，我也不认识我自己。 -hebe. something which i saw on a mag said by hebe [S.H.E.] and this is the exact sentence which i ahve been looking for, to describe myself. |
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someone's just driving me crazy. and i cant stand it. yucks. i hate it. RAHH> i'm super angry. and i so hate attention seekers. people who seek for attraction have very sad life. because they dont receive attention at home. thus they have to find other means of receiving attention. somehow i pity these kind of people. i'm glad the both of us don't seek attention. (: |
| Tuesday, January 09, 2007 |
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i just wanna know. why no matter what i do, i just can't get things right? no matter how much effort i put in. i'll just BOUND to screw up something? some people are born to lead. maybe i'm just lacking in that talent. -crazy. |
| Monday, January 08, 2007 |
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I LOVE CANDY. i think i shall call crazier after mugging my physics. need to catch up since i spent AN HOUR SLEEPING. stupid panda. panda was the one who got me into sleeping. URGH. told P to stop keep me awake, cos i had this feeling i was gonna sleep. and P just put down the phone cos P's mummy came home. and urgh. i was on the bed talking on the phone and i just fell sleep until another phone call came at 5.00 at wake me up. HAHA. P was quite positive i feel asleep and decided to give me a 'morning call' OKAYYY. thankew gor. i shall go MUG MUG MUG NOW. wha. and that huihong, shuang shuang tell me she go J8 and can buy euu's pressie. AHHH. i'm MOVIE DEPRIVED. i want to go out TOO! |
| Sunday, January 07, 2007 |
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the below was something i read off ...uhm.a friend's friend's blog i guess, you could say.cos i don't know this person at all. i came across his blog recently while blog surfing as usual, or rather kay-poing. but i must say. much of the stuff he says makes alot of sense. and it's the exact thing i would want to say if i had this command of english which i can only envy. but before anyone reads on. LET ME CLEAR THIS UP ONCE AGAIN. i DO NOT know this guy in one way or another.thankew. credits to:http://ed-t.blogspot.com/ Was it worth it? All that effort, was it worth it? All that hard work, was it worth it? All that time spent, was it worth it? All that shouting to maintain order, was it worth it? All that enthusiasm, was it worth it? All that sacrifice, was it worth it? All that pain, was it worth it? All that friction, was it worth it? All that sweat, was it worth it? All that endurance, was it worth it? All that tolerance, was it worth it? Sometimes, life isn’t fair. It slaps you in the face and makes a mockery of all the hard work that you have put in. While you slog away and try to keep everyone safe, make everything run smoothly, others laze around and yet reap more benefits than you. Why should I put in that extra effort? It is not worth it, right? I was asked for advice in running a game, and I thought my answer was rather apt. “Who gives a fvck?” I might have hurt Kenneth, but my conscience remains clear. I’ve already said that I will not help, and I stand by my decision. You might think that I am being self-centered and selfish. I don’t pretend that I am a saint or a holy person who does not work for rewards. I am ruthlessly pragmatic. You reap what you sow. When I sow something, I expect to reap something. The reward does not have to be monetary in nature. Just a smile, or a thank-you, or some appreciation, or some credit would have done nicely. But no, you’re telling me that the way to be a ___ is to just sit at the steps and see which girl is pretty, while the idiots try to get everything done. what i wanted to emphasize on was the first paragraph which i have made bold above. probably we are in different positions but i believe everyone holding a leadership position or happens to be a leader on one way or another, no matter CCA, group work or class chairman would encounter such a problem. after many occassion when you put in much effort and see that nothing comes back, you would, too, start to doubt yourself and the amount that you have invested. is it fair? i say not. a leader either does 1)the dirties jobs with the people who are nice enough to lend a helping hand and render their services or 2) just sit and see time past. it's as simple as that, only two scenarios. sometimes it's the appreciation that gives us the strength and recognition to carry on. you can't pretend, like the above mentioned, that you're some holy saint. well. that's not gonna happen cos even saint has a devil in him, i'm sure. okay. well, probably only mother theresa is that noble, but hello? she got recognition too. the main point, is that. start appreciating the people around you and the little things they do. leader or not, that's not important. but it's the little gestures that won't take up much of your time - for example a smile, that makes the world a better place to live in. |
| Saturday, January 06, 2007 | |
hmm. okay. so i guess robots. they're suppose to be emotion-less and someone who mugs no day and night. like me? i'm supppose to be lack of feeling when most of my decisions are based on that? means i'm a malfunctioning robot. greatness! i guess i turn to the blog when i'm feeeling horrid most of the time so most of the posts are probably the most negative side you can see[unless of course i manage to grumble it off to someone before the troubles make it to blogger.]
the year somehow didn't start off very well. but most teachers followed us up, means we have less to adapt to all over again. in a good and bad way. i'll be MORE THAN HAPPY to adapt if they gave us 'better' teachers like Ms Chng [opps. i hope mr M.C. doesn't see this] like how i'd adapting to mr tay, cos i have this feeling he's gonna be the best maths teacher [ in terms of teaching, okay. on par with mrs chia, but plus the humour] in 4 years. however, bad or not, is how the mind perceives. i think ms ng said something like ' the mind perceives what you think' or something along the lines, yesterday. OHH. i MUST say, we all got to know ms ng veyr much better affter yesterday. oh my. does she have an interesting life when she's so young. wha. if i had half the excitement she had, i'll be in the clouds. 5 hours of tution today consisting of chem+phy+a maths. i'm wondering how i'm going to make it to the end of the day. and this year. i think i'm already experiencing the first lost of the year. why do i have to get this year in year out? man. i HATE. emphasize. HATE this process. and this year, it's gonna be panda. it's definitely gonna be panda. i can already feel the drift. wish me luck for dealing with this blow this year. |
| Thursday, January 04, 2007 |
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HAPPY BURFDAY WANYAN!!!! today. was a horrible day. maybe not totally horrid...but still. tired as usual. utterly disappointed in some people.but i guess i expected this kinda attitude. some people just don't get it, do they? so many things to do.busybusybusy. feel so alone sometimes. like there're so many matters and no one can help. i'm already sinking into depression on the 2nd day of school. i wonder how i'm gonna survive competition period and Os. prepare to see a very snappy me. pls bear with it. -ciao crazy): |
| Monday, January 01, 2007 | ||||||||
so i guess it's okay? cos it's quite neutral, i'm not on an extreme particular side eh?
is this suppose to be bad? A total spark plug - your kisses are bound to get you in trouble. <- EH. what is this suppose to mean? i'm very guai1 okayy.
gosh. NUH UH. i'm in LOVE? BLEAH, HAHAHA. yeh, okay, maybe there's some truth to it, cos I'M IN LOVE WITH MYSELF.awww.so cool right. |
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YAYE. i LOVE the re-vamped blogskin. okay.it's not really revamped, but i added stuff to it. i spent a long time okay! rearranging and rearranging the pics. the sweets look really yummy[: HAPPY NEW YEAR! new year is such a happy occassion suddenly[: cos an old friend came to talk to me, after wishing me happy new year. i'm quite surprised he actually got over the fact that i pushed him into the pool[at the class gathering] and totally wrecked his[already very old] phone. HAHA. still in the state of shock. we can actually hold a conversation without getting into a scuffle!! ha.i guess i'm more prone into getting into arguments with guys. different channel you see. i am still very shocked. haha. cos i have this idea in my head that he told the whole world i wrecked his phone. ALTHOUGH. i TRIED to blow it dry with a hair dryer and i DID apologise. but he didn't seem to take it that well 2 yrs back. AH HAHAA. HAPPY NEW YEAR once again! |
