| Friday, July 28, 2006 |
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HAHA. I just thought of the stupid superman quote: with greater power comes greater responsibilities. i use to think that it was so cliche and dumb. but i think it's really true. superly drained out from everything and i seem to be pissing everyone out with my AP. can u believe it. for once in my entire life, i'm starting to suspect if i have attitude problem. Edna Mode is really getting on me. i feel like a failure. getting insulted infront of the whole class yet i cannot defend myself. all i felt i wanted to do was to cry. it seems that no matter how hard i try to do everything to the best of my ability, i seem to be wrecking everything up. My CCA. studies. and the list goes on. for once. i think i have a really screwed wrecked up life. depressed. once again. I'm back to sqaure one where i start to suspect if all the effort i put in for everything is ever worth it. I'm starting to wonder about my cun2 zai4 jia4 zhi2 again. about what do i actually want? i'm feeling lost all over again and i hate this feeling. i hate it when i doubt myself. and my goals. sometimes i ask. is it true that i can't take failure? probably, i've always been living in comfort zone, so much so that i've never really treasured things which i've ought to be paying more attention to. CCA. i feel as though i've failed everyone. i can't garner the respect of the team. i can't even make my PEERS turn up for training. i'm just depressed luh. need to vent out some stuff. probably i just need to cry. then i'll be fine. i need some sort of route to vent it all out. or i'll land in the doc's office soon man. or worst still. like crazier said. i'll go kee-siao. aiyo. darn scary lah. i don't wanna go see councillor man. like mental breakdown like that. haix. someone. pls help. |